Haven't Given Up...

...on my dreams.

Trying my best to love what I do, 

while I am doing what is necessary to do what I love... 

freely.

Home is where the <3 is...

...so it's been said.

This week marks 8 years since I left my childhood home in The Bay to brave "independent life" here in Hawai'i.

I'm still alive.

I'm not (completely) broke.

...and I'm actually pretty happy.

Actually, it's been pretty fricken amazing...

This is one of those situations that, in hindsight, baffles me.  I can't believe I did it.  I can't believe that the person that I was at 21yrs old, had the will to make something like this happen.  The person that I am NOW, yes.  But the Eds-of-old??  How the heck??

You don't understand.  I lived a very comfortable life in my childhood home.  I didn't pay rent.  I had a car to drive. Granted, it wasn't my own, and it was never the most luxurious.. but it was still a means of transportation.  My mom cooked.  My brother, affectionately known as [Kuya], paid for school- and everything else that I needed.  I had a job after high school, but it was just for spending money.

Yes, I was spoiled- No... I was VERY BLESSED.

But I was NOT a brat.  I was (and STILL am) thankful for everything I had, especially since we didn't ALWAYS live comfortably.  Yes, there was a dark era.. but I won't talk about that.

So why did I leave my worry-free, laid back life at home?

I needed out.  I needed independence.  I needed to figure out who I really was.  There's the "me" that everyone has always known "me" to be... but maybe I was just slipping into that role?  Because it was comfortable to be what everyone expected you to be.

So I did the most out-of-character thing I could do:  I left.

It wasn't enough to just move out of my childhood home.  Moving out of the Bay Area wasn't enough either.  Staying in California meant that home would only be a drive away.  I couldn't have that temptation within reach.  

It was October 2000, and I was actually sitting at a football game when I decided where I would move.  I used to dance for SJSU, and we had a Home game where we played against UH...  (The sad thing was, the visitor side had WAYYY more fans than our side!)  But as I was sitting there, the thought popped into my mind:

"What if I just picked up and moved to Hawai'i?"

It was probably a few months before ANYONE took me seriously.  It wasn't until I kept telling everyone "I'm leaving in August," that my mom and [Kuya] finally realized, Holy crap, she's really gonna leave!

[Kuya] later confessed that there were bets going... for how long I would last before I packed up and moved back home.  He told me "I have the highest bid.  I gave you 2 years.  Prove me wrong."

8 years later...

I'm married.

I teach something I have a passion for.

I'm an LMT, in the making to become a great L. Ac.

I have friends who have become family.

I'm still inspired.

...and I'm still here.

Blog it out...

Although I normally save this type of occasion for my pen and notebook, I am inspired by the many brave bloggers out there who daily put their hearts, emotions, rants, opinions and aspirations for the universe to indulge in.

I have decided to be brave for a moment, and "blog it out." (Kinda)

This is one of those nights that I wish I was back home in Union City where my [BFF] is only a quick drive away, and all I would need to do is call her and she would jump in her car to come and save me.  Instead, here I am on my couch, looking to [Wally] for comfort, asking him to "please stay." 

The comforting thing is:  I think he understands.

Something's...

...better than nothing, right?

I have been in an indecisive slump.  I currently have 5 unfinished posts, and I no longer have the passion for the chosen topics to be able to complete it.  There are also numerous topics of interest swimming around in my head, but I cannot commit to expressing them to my curious audience. Yes, maybe I will one day.. But until then, I have decided that: Something's better than Nothing.

I figured that I would just type.  Type until Something becomes more than Nothing.  I may just be super lazy, or I could be caught up in real, non-blogged life?  Either way, over the past 3 years, my blog and I have been having some major communication issues.

Speaking of Something's... (drum roll, please)

I have entered into the final year of the "twenty-something" life.  *sigh*

twenty-somethings:

A specific demographic group, those aged 20-29.  Often Obama supporters, heavy drinkers, users of urbandictionary.com, students, servers, bartenders, clubgoers, in massive debt yet still optimistic, and believe that they can change the world if they just work together (until they reach the threshold age of 30, when 98% of people realize the futility of their causes).

(taken from www.urbandictionary.com)

Hmm.  After reading that, it's kinda hard to decide whether I'm excited to move on from that twenty-something life, or if I'm dreading entering the cynicism of the 30's?

Attempting to cope with thirty-something coming around the corner, and at the same time, finding comfort in appreciating and leaving my twenty-something life, I came across this:

TwentySomething Jamie Cullum

After years of expensive education

a car full of books, and anticipation

I'm an expert on Shakespeare, and that's a hell of a lot

but the world don't needs scholars as much as I thought

Maybe I'll go traveling for a year,

finding myself, or start a career

I could work with the poor, though I'm hungry for fame

we all seem so different, but we're just the same

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat

all things are easy, with a tight six-pack

who knows the answer, who do you trust

I can't even separate love from lust

Maybe I'll move back home, and pay off my loans,

working nine to five, answering phones

Don't make me live for my Friday nights,

drinking eight pints and getting into fights

I don't want to get up, just let me lie in

Leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething

Maybe I'll just fall in love, that could solve it all,

philosophers say that that's enough

there surely must be more, ooh

Love ain't the answer, nor is work

The truth deludes me so much it hurts,

but I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key,

I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep bein' me

Apparently, there's a fucking song for everything...

Index of Characters: A Mini Guide

Since I blog about life, and those who are in my life...

I have made the decision to abbreviate/nickname the names of my family and friends on my blog.

As some of you know, I am a Bay Area girl who is living in this island (Hawaii) world.. So my friends and family live mostly in one of these two locations, but I may refer to others who have chosen to venture outside those perimeters.

My blogs consist of family, friends, co-workers, and ghosts of Christmas pasts, who have all, in some way (be it positively or negatively) helped to shape the "charming, endearing, awesome and sometimes kind" person that I am today!

To make things less complicated, I have decided to put together a mini-index of those that I refer to.  I will continue to update this guide as more characters added into my adventures!

In order of appearance (for now):

• PW:   The Hubster.  We met when I first moved to HI in 2001, and we recently got married in August 2008.  He is a cancer survivor (4yrs cancer-free! Praise God!), and an amazing cook who also hogs the television.

• Tigger:   The (sometimes annoying) little (by one month) brother I never had.  I tend to drag him along on many of my adventures.

• BFF:  Exactly that.  We have known each other since the 6th grade, and we talk 3-5x a year (I'm working on getting better at that).  We live in different states, different time zones, and have totally different circles of friends.  And regardless of what happens between those talks, she still knows me best. I hate and love that - all at the same time.

• Wally:  My ever-faithful, big, ball-of-love dog.  He's a toy fox terrier/chihuahua mix, a.k.a. TACO TERRIER.  Such a character...

• Kuya:  "Kuya" is a filipino term used as a sign of respect to an older male relative, in my case, my brother.  He's 9yrs older, and he pretty much raised me to be the charming, endearing and awesome person that I am :)  No, seriously.. I pretty much owe him my life.

• Japapino:  My inspirational traveler who has the free spirit to pick up and go whenever he feels compelled to :)  He is Japanese and Filipino (hence the name), and he also happens to be one of my favorite gay friends.  He is a tell-it-like-it-is kinda guy, and I appreciate that.

• Sweet D:  My fellow blogger and Shokutopia dweller. We share similar loves, such as blogging, Coca-Cola and The Wonder Years. Whatever you do, do not call her a "dork." ;)

• Ghetto Mocha:  This guy has become my new Bikram accountability partner!  Our thoughts happen to always be on the same wavelength.  It's truly creepy how similar we are... and you know how the saying goes, "Birds of a feather..."

For the Love of Liquid

So.  I've said this several times, to several different people... I LOVE LIQUIDS.

Seriously.  If I were forced to go on a liquid only diet, I could TOTALLY do it.  

Happily.

I'm not as crazy as I used to be.  When I was still in school, this was my daily regimen:

1 12oz glass of skim milk

1 12oz-16oz glass of orange juice

1 can of coke

1 grande coffee (maybe 2 if it was a rough day)

2-3 liters of water

...and an occasional, 16oz Tropical Awakening from Jamba Juice.

I have definitely toned it down.  I no longer drink milk daily, and the Jamba thing happens only 1-2 times a month.  Maybe.  :)

Anyways, on a coffee break awhile ago, [Tigger] and I decided to go to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.

I ordered my usual Hazelnut Latte.. and I decided to try the new Green Apple Breeze thing (which was too sweet for my taste, BTW).  As I'm paying, a pretty bottle catches my eye:  BORBA.  BORBA Skin Balance Water, to be exact.

[photo courtesy of eds]

Sounds interesting, right?  How could I resist??

There were 4 different flavors/areas of concern:

• Pomegranate = Clarifying, for oily skim
  
• Acai = Age Defying, for aging skin and wrinkles
  
• Guanabana = Firming, for body/firmness
  
• Lychee = Replenishing, for dry skin
  

I plan to try all 4, so I picked the one closest to me:  Pomegranate.

Here's the lowdown:  (an excerpt from borba.com)

photo taken from www.borba.com

BORBA's skin balance water blends contain an array of exotic fruits, antioxidant ingredients, and essential vitamins and minerals that work in tandem to help improve and protect skin, from the inside out!

When we're young, our skin is mostly comprised of water- giving us a poreless look, softened texture, and firm feel.

As we age, our skin's ability to hold onto water or moisture greatly decreases, revealing visible pores, rougher and dryer skin texture, and a less firm appearance.

Unlike topical skin care products, BORBA Skin Balance Water provides the added healthy benefit of internal hydration.

Sounds like a bunch of CRAP to me.  But it tastes good! :)

PW Files, 03.16.2003

My old car ('93 Miata) still lives (is dead) in my garage.  I haven't touched it since I bought my new car over 4yrs ago.  You can only imagine the creepy, crawly things that have now taken residence in my old pimp mobile!  I asked [PW] to do me a HUGE favor:  Go into the car and empty out the glove compartment.  (I was looking for an old insurance card)

It took him 2 days later to actually do it. (I didn't even need the darn insurance card anymore!) But to my delight, this is what he found in my glove compartment:

**This card was dated exactly 1 week before our first kiss**

Hey Eds,

This is a thank you for the memories you have provided me on my thirtieth birthday.  Your gifts are always so thoughtful, I feel that it is an indication of how observant and considerate you are and I wanted to acknowledge that.  (Actually the whole time I have known ya!)  The amount of effort you put into both gifts made me feel appreciated, just imagining you potting the stalks, transporting it in the Miata, carrying it up to the office, and trying to be STEALTH about it all is a third gift you have given me.  That is a memory that I will hold dear, because it is perhaps the cutest I have.  These are very rare and special qualities to have and you have to know that you are a very rare and special person to me.  Although, I have been wondering why you choose to remain less opinionated, mind you it does not detract from your uniqueness, just makes you more coy (adj. shy, demur, affecting shyness, evasive).  I looked it up.  Your listening ability is something I treasure and I will admit that I can't read you as well as you may believe.  I can't even begin to express my gratitude in words, only hope to reciprocate the acts of kindness and provide you with pleasant memories.

Knowing you has enhanced my existence.

Love always

_ _ _ _ _

( [PW] )

Yes, I'm married to him :)  AND he cooks!  Could you blame me for falling for the guy?